Musician Chenoa Nwokedi, on committing to Morning Pages

Chenoa and I have never met. But Instagram does amazing things. When I posted that I was looking for a man who does a creative thing consistently (and my sister nearly had a panic attack, thinking this was my way of sourcing a romantic partner), someone called Crunchy Sweater (Chenoa's musical alias) DM'd me with two words that grabbed my attention: MORNING PAGES.

IYKYK.

Morning Pages takes commitment! I've tried. And failed. On two separate attempts. I got as far as one month. Chenoa has been doing it for five years.

Bingo! I had discovered the next person to feature on The Consistency Chronicles.

Chenoa Nwokedi is a South African musician and semi-professional boxer based in Hamburg, Germany. As a muIti-instrumentalist and composer, he loves how music offers "a way to introduce myself without words". You can listen to his music is here. But his words are below.

How would you describe Morning Pages to someone who does not know what this is? 

Morning Pages is a journalling practice akin to a “brain-drain”. Three pages written every day, best in the morning to prevent a diary entry or recap of the day. Sometimes it's three pages of “I don't know what to write or think”, and sometimes it can be really profound and introspective. Ultimately, for me, it's a way to put down yesterday's leftovers before getting into a new day of thoughts and feelings.

What got you started on writing these daily pages? 

I gave The Artist's Way a crack in a time of self-doubt, while experiencing "art block", and this is the one thing [from the book] that I’ve kept going. The practice has been immensely eye-opening and therapeutic.

Note from TLC: The Artist's Way is a book and 12-week course by Julia Cameron, designed to help people unblock their creativity. Morning Pages are at the heart of it. Every morning, before the day gets going, you write three pages by hand, longhand, about anything at all. The idea is that by releasing all your mental clutter, you're making space for clearer thinking and fresher ideas. Find out more here.

Was the result the thing that you were expecting, or did something else emerge?

Morning Pages have given me a space to put things to paper and out of my mind, whether good or bad. I originally had no expectations, but I can feel it in my capacity when I haven’t done my pages. On those days, there's more frustration and anxiety, and too many thoughts to think.

Some days, it’s interesting how you find yourself in conversation with strangers about a line or phrase or paragraph – the very thing you wrote to yourself that day. 

How consistent have you been?

Over the last five years, I've never stopped for longer than a month.

What promises did you have to make for this to happen?

The only promise is to show up and write honestly. Sometimes I write more than three pages and sometimes only one page. My brain drain is now a priority, as it keeps internal and external tantrums at bay.

What practical tips do you have for people struggling to stay consistent with Morning Pages?

Always have a notebook ready. And have a spare one that you can carry around, for days that start fast. On days like that, I’ll try to find time before the evening just to put the episode of the day to bed.

A new trick for me, when I don't have my notebook, has been to physically mime the phrase I want to write, with my eyes closed. Sometimes I'll crumple the imaginary page and toss it away or even mentally fold it and put it in my pocket.

Are you naturally inclined to have routine in all areas of your life, or is this practice an anomaly?

I tend to have flexibility within a framework, as well as some non-negotiables for every day.

Music-wise, I practice my instruments so that my hands don’t blister when I perform. Body-wise, I stay in shape so that I don't get injured when I box. And then I show up for my Morning Pages every day, for my mind.

All of this has helped keep my anxiety and chronic depression in check. I used to challenge structure and routine, but now I know how these practices serve me.

I’m better off when sticking to the programme.

What happens when you wake up not in the mood to write?

I just won’t write. Sometimes my schedule gets in the way, and I only get to sleep at 3am and have to rush to a 9am meeting. I don’t always find a workaround, so having the intention to not skip two days of writing is the best I can do.

On a rough morning, maybe my coffee and cigarette will come first, even before yoga. But usually, by the time I’ve moved and consumed something, maybe even showered, I’ve shaken off the 'not being in the mood to write' part of a bad day. At this point, I try to see it as a symptom which my pages can help me get to the root cause of. Sometimes writing this down is enough to make me feel better.

When you’ve ‘fallen off the bandwagon’, what supports you in getting back?

I have some friends that share the practice, so if I can’t meet myself on the page they are a call or a coffee away. We always ask one another if we’ve been doing "the pages"; not in a patronising way, but out of mutual care. This helps me know that I’m not alone. Writing also helps me reconcile and regulate the thoughts I can't always talk about, before I take things to this support system.

Have your Morning Pages had any impact on your music?

I think they have helped clear the fog. I never write songs in these pages, but sometimes a phrase will lead to an idea. Even just writing about music motivates me to go write some music afterwards.

Any additional tips for Morning Pages beginners?

Start easy and write every thought.

Like: “my handwriting is ugly” or “this is stupid”. Whatever the voice that tells you to stop says, put that down on paper too. Eventually everyone (including your mind) gets tired of talking, so let it talk until it's tired of talking. It’s important to acknowledge that voice rather than try to silence it.

Follow Crunchy Sweater.